That he was willing to see a counselor and work on sex were also good signs.
If I had a partner who was unwilling to talk about sex or try to fix it, I'd kick his ass to the curb without blinking.
I was a virgin, my wife was not, together we hadn't gotten much past second base, and neither of us had laid our kink cards on the table.
So I told her about my kink, fully expecting that it would result in the collapse of my marriage.We didn't speak about it for a week, and then she calmly asked me if I wanted to do this with her instead of just watching porn about it. I have some physical ailments that can make sex painful.It sounds cheesy, but marriage counseling really helped.It helped my husband understand himself and his reactions better, and it helped cement the idea of "ours" instead of "yours" as it related to the problems I was dealing with at the time.In a recent column, you said you never hear from married couples whose sex life got better and more frequent over the years. My wife and I were married 24 years ago, and we are currently having more sex and better sex than we did in the first years of our marriage.
There are many reasons why, including therapy, antidepressants, and weight loss and subsequent surgery—but I would have to say that the big reason is communication."Here's something I've never seen in my inbox: a letter from someone explaining how sex with their partner was infrequent, impersonal, uninspired, unimaginative, etc.at first but—holy moly—the sex got a fuck of a lot better after the wedding," I wrote in my response to IMDONE.My problevms are not 100 percent fixed, and we don't have sex as often as either of us would like, but when we have it, it's worlds better than when we started out.For me, being comfortable with my husband and secure in the relationship made it so much easier to communicate and work on fixing the problems together.Practice, Practice, Practice My sex life improved after marriage.