She lost some friends who couldn't deal with her true identity, and still faces discrimination daily. "From the very beginning, I realised I wasn't a boy and I wasn't a girl; I realised I was in the middle.But she refuses to define herself as either man or woman, using the female pronoun purely for convenience. I felt great self-hatred at points about the fact that I was in an unknown world.
She made it and kept it at home for a long time until she gained the confidence to display it. In the past, XXXora has also worked on a series on androgynous superstars.Some of her biggest influences when she was young were the likes of Prince, Grace Jones, Marilyn Manson and Michael Jackson.Born with ambiguous sexual organs, she was raised a boy.But she always knew she did not fit into society's rigid male or female categories and refused major surgery to mould her body into either. "I don't want to morph into a blue or pink box; I want to stay in my silver box." These words stuck with me, especially because things were not always so simple.Although there are no comprehensive statistics on the number of operations still carried out, it is believed some babies and children will undergo such surgery in Britain this year.
The UN Special Rapporteur on Torture has condemned it, saying non-consensual surgery of this kind can cause "permanent, irreversible infertility and severe mental suffering".
But she always knew who she was, and had support from her family, including her younger brother.
When she got to the point where she felt like a "pressure cooker that was about to explode", she changed her name and began to dress publicly in more typically feminine clothes.
She now wears her silver mask – first adorned after a failed cornea transplant left her unable to wear make-up on one eye – whenever she goes out, and it has become another emblem of life inside her silver box. For me, it is about finding archetypes and reclaiming words.
Then there's her name – crafted around ideas of chromosomes, derogatory Spanish slang, and an inversion of the hardcore XXX symbol (which she tells me originated in the brewing industry as a sign of premium strength). People are using 'hermaphrodite' in a derogatory way, and I simply won't have it.
We need to establish that the middle biologically exists and is part of our world.